Several months ago I read a book by Jennifer Rothschild that really got me thinking, "Me, Myself & Lies". I had never really paid much attention to the things that I was saying to myself. The words that no one else could hear but me until I read this book & realized I'm so mean...to myself.
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer." Psalm 19:14
I began by thinking about the types of things I say to myself, which I was a little afraid to share, but I believe that everyone struggles with self-talk from time to time.
"You're just not strong enough."
"You think you can do this...but you can't"
"You shouldn't even try."
"Go ahead & just eat it, you deserve it."
"You never learn, do you?"
"You are so stupid."
"Two pounds....that's not enough! You're never going to meet your goal weight...ever!"
"PCOS is going to rule your life."
"You're PCOS makes you different and you're all alone."
I could go on & on. The worst part is these are the things I say to myself when I need encouragement, when I'm really feeling down. I would never dream of saying any of these hurtful things to my friends. I would tell them the exact opposite! I would never talk to my husband like this and I would be so sad if my daughter ever said these things to herself...and yet day in and day out, this is what I feed myself. We cannot assume only the words we speak aloud bring life or invite death. As Jennifer says, "Even silently spoken words have great influence. It matters how you use them." These silent words are destructive to who we are, how we relate to others & influence our actions. Telling myself repeatedly I"m to weak to run a mile will consistently keep my behind on the couch!! These thoughts turn into actions that hold us back in life! "Who you are and what's in your heart are revealed in the words you speak." These are not just words, at one point in my life these are statements that I truly believed about myself. I had to realize that, "Who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing." It was time to backtrack and begin to study what God thought of me. I had to aline my thoughts with His so that I could see myself for who I really am and who I want to be. We have the ability to makeover our thoughts, all it takes is awareness & commitment to change. We can't assume it's a small task, just take it one thought at a time. Below are some verses that I have cherished, the thoughts that God has for us. Begin to compare every thought you have to God's thoughts for you. Let His thoughts win & accept them as who & what you really are.
"That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you!" Isaiah 43:4
"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!" Psalm 139:7
"I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11
"Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count." Psalm 40:5
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8
"What marvelous love the Father has for us! Just look at it - we're called children of God! That's who we really are!" 1 John 3:1
I hope that by being transparent with my health journey, I've created a place where others can read, be inspired & share their own experiences. I have received so many private emails from friends, family & people I've never met, sharing their successes and failures. Let's share them together on this blog. Let's reach out to one another with tips, ideas and struggles in hopes that what we are going through or have success in can help someone else.